Early Romance is Killing Me

pexels-photo-40525Here’s a first world problem for you; I am tired of going on dates involving wine, sushi and/or sunsets.

Don’t get me wrong. I love sunsets, sushi and (obviously) wine. 

But seriously. My eyes have started to roll so frequently into the back of my head that soon I’ll be stuck staring at my brains for the rest of my life. When a text popped up just now suggesting a first date involving a Sunday night sunset, wine and strawberries on the beach I almost deleted the b*****d off Facebook. ‘How dare you take such romantic liberties?!’ My independent female brain screamed. ‘Entrapment!’

I can hear some of you thinking ‘Oh woe is you, you ungrateful little b***h, someone wants to date you’ – but sorry – no. We just met. How about we play mini golf and get ice cream? Burritos and bumper cars? Tacos and tennis?

Pushing romance on someone you hardly know is risky. Firstly, if you start staring deeply into their eyes too early you might send them running for the hills. 

Secondly, if you make it past the first date, you are setting lofty expectations forever more. Personally, I believe you should put in more effort as you get to know someone to show that you care rather than ordering champagne on the first date – for both of your benefit. They might waste their money trying to impress by buying Bollinger, and then realise by the end of the night that you’re really only worth Yellow. 

Less is more.

Did you see Married at First Sight the other night? The lovely (initially rejected) Andrew sings and plays his second wife Cheryl a song that he wrote for her during their beach picnic.

Can we just stop and note that they haven’t even had their first kiss yet? 

Anyway, Andrew sings lovely things about her that may or may not be true, and Cheryl visibly recoils, but somehow Andrew misses this and goes in for the kiss. It’s a confusing few no/yes/no seconds where Cheryl leans away, changes her mind, then leans back in for the kiss before she pushes off Andrew, telling him ‘I don’t want to kiss you!’ Ouch. 

Sure, Andrew might have been hoping that this was going to be the act to get them over the first kiss line. But I could feel Cheryl through the tv, internally screaming ‘ENTRAPMENT!’ Don’t make someone feel like they have to respond in a certain way because you have set up the environment to do so. Cheryl felt like she had to kiss him, but then her guts kicked in and she shot back like she had been hit with 150 volts. 

Save the mushy stuff for when you both know you actually have feelings for each other, and don’t try to force a person to see you through rose-tinted glasses. You can’t. 

By Jacqueline Alanne